The True Value of Helping Others: Beyond Reciprocity
Many advocate for helping others with the caveat: because one day, you might need their assistance. This often results in selective assistance, favoring those perceived as potentially beneficial.
Those deemed incapable of reciprocation might be neglected or treated poorly. While our behaviors often stem from personal experiences or observed patterns, I’ve learned that this selective approach can be shortsighted.
I firmly believe in unconditional assistance. Why? Because I’ve witnessed the vast rewards it brings, often in unexpected ways.
Let me share a pivotal chapter from my life to illustrate this belief.
During my undergraduate years, I recall my commitment to assisting new students. Recognizing the challenges I faced in my first year, I felt compelled to alleviate these hurdles for others. With my roommates, we established the Future Developers Foundation, an on-campus NGO primarily focused on mentoring freshers.
Despite the demands on my time, I dedicated countless hours, even sacrificing personal study sessions. I had no expectations of reciprocation; I was driven solely by the desire to make a positive difference.
Ironically, that semester, despite less personal study time, I achieved my highest grades throughout my six years of study—a testament to the mysterious ways in which the universe rewards genuine efforts.
Fast forward a few years to 2022, during the ALX Software Engineering program. My approach remained the same: assist as many peers as possible. I hosted numerous coding sessions, asking for nothing in return.
Yet, the universe reciprocated in kind. Recognizing my contributions, I received one of the most significant opportunities of my life: a chance to amplify my impact while being remunerated.
I share this not as a testament to my efforts but as evidence of the unseen rewards of unconditional assistance. Today, as I reflect on my journey, my heart swells with gratitude for the numerous opportunities I’ve been given to assist others.
I’m continually driven to do more, not for reciprocity but for the intrinsic fulfillment it brings.
I urge you to adopt this mindset. Help others, not because they might reciprocate, but because it’s the right thing to do. You might be surprised at the unforeseen blessings it brings into your life.
Until tomorrow!
Dr. Ehoneah Obed (Pharmacist, Software Engineer, Health Informatician, Founder)
My work focuses on identity engineering, which is the deliberate process of designing and updating who you are, personally and professionally.
Most people experience identity as something fixed or accidental. It is shaped by parents, early success or failure, education, and society’s definition of what a “good life” looks like. They adapt to it rather than questioning it. What most people do not realize is that identity is not just something you discover. It is something you can actively engineer.
Personal identity engineering is about gaining control over how your beliefs, values, and self-concept are formed and reinforced.
Professional identity engineering is about translating that internal identity into skills, work, leverage, and visible contribution in the world.
When people feel stuck, it is rarely because they lack motivation or talent. It is because they are trying to change outcomes while leaving the underlying identity system untouched. Careers stall. Confidence collapses. Direction feels unclear. The system keeps producing the same results.
I learned this by rebuilding myself multiple times.
I trained as a pharmacist for six years. While working in hospitals, I began learning to code alongside my job. That led to building real software, selling products, transitioning into software engineering, completing a master’s degree in health informatics at the University of Toronto, and now building startups and systems full time. Each transition followed the same pattern. My identity did not change because I thought differently. It changed because I took specific actions that produced new evidence, and that evidence forced a new story about who I was capable of being.
That is the core mechanism behind identity engineering.
Identity updates when you intentionally generate evidence that contradicts your old self-image, then compound that evidence until the old identity can no longer run the system.
This blog is where I document that process. I write about how to design identity experiments that are small, controlled, and reversible. How to build proof-of-work that changes both how you see yourself and how the world responds to you. How to move forward without waiting for clarity, confidence, or permission.
This is not motivation and it is not coaching. It is systems thinking applied to human change.
I also write The Ledger, a weekly record of systems and experiments for building a life you own.
And I built the Identity Audit, a diagnostic tool that helps you understand your current identity state before you attempt to change it.
I am not presenting a finished theory. I am engineering this in real time, using my own life as the test environment. If you want more agency over who you are becoming, both personally and professionally, you are in the right place.
